header right

Helping Your Children Through Divorce


  1. Tell them where their other parent has gone without maligning the parent.

  2. Reassure your children that they will continue to be taken care of and that they will be safe and secure.

  3. Your children see that parents sometimes stop involving each other; explain that a parent’s love is a special kind that never changes.

  4. Spend time every day with each child individually.

  5. Children may feel responsible for causing the divorce. Reassure them they are not to blame. They may also feel responsible for bringing parents back together. Let them know your
     decision is final and will have to be accepted.

  6. Often divorcing parents feel guilty and become overindulgent because their children have to go through the divorce. Give your child love and limits.

  7. Your child is still a child and can’t become the “man of the house” or a “little mother”. Continue to be a parent to your child. Seek other adults to fill your needs for companionship.

  8. Avoid situations, which place children in the impossible position of choosing between parents.

  9. Don’t use your child as a way to get back to your former spouse. Children can be terribly wounded when caught in cross-fire.

  10. Throughout life you and your former spouse will continue to be the parents of your children. Pledge to cooperate responsibly toward the growth and development of your children as an expression of your mutual love for them.

  11. A divorce can be a time of loss for each member of the family. You are entitled to reach out for help and support.

  12. Be patient and understanding with your child. Be patient and understanding with yourself.

© 2006 - 2013 Superior Court of California, County of Placer. All rights reserved
Terms of Use | Site Map | Comments regarding this Web site may be directed to: webmaster@placer.courts.ca.gov