PARENTS: TAKE NOTICE OF YOUR CHILDREN'S FEARS |
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| Although every divorce or separation is unique, here are some common problems and ways to help:
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With one parent usually moving out of the house, children often worry that both parents will leave. To Help: Reassure children that they will be cared for, explain changing living situations in concrete and specific terms in advance, so children know what to expect.
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Taking the Blame Children often believe they did something to cause their parent's divorce. To Help: Assist children to understand that divorce is an adult problem and they are not to blame in any way.
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Children often do not know how or are unwilling to express their thoughts or feelings in words. Instead, behavior can be angry, defiant or withdrawn. To Help: Be aware that changes in behavior may be linked to the divorce. Help children find safe constructive outlets for their feelings, such as drawing or writing.
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Studies show children exhibit numerous negative effects when placed in the middle of parents adversarial conflicts, or are asked to "take sides". To Help: Ensure that children are not put in these or other untenable positions. Consider mediation to reduce power struggles and enlist appropriate adult help to address legal, financial or emotional issues.
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Self-esteem plummets among children of divorce. To Help: Encourage children to express their thoughts and feelings and talk about why they feel "weird" or "different". Seek outside help if necessary. |